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A Queer Calling

Hi! We’re Sarah and Lindsey. We are a celibate, LGBT, Christian couple. We feel very blessed to have this queer calling, although it can be difficult at times to know exactly how to talk about our experiences as a couple. Celibate, LGBT couples are a rare bunch! If you’re curious to learn more about why we have chosen celibacy, we encourage you to read our “Why celibacy?” post.

Both of us have spent a lot of time, individually and together, reflecting on how celibacy can be a life-giving, life-affirming pathway to holiness. To try to help you understand where we are coming from, we have attempted to explain our understanding of celibacy in our “Defining celibacy” post. We understand that many people aren’t quite sure what to make of our situation upon their first encounter with our blog, so we have also addressed some common misunderstandings in our “7 Misconceptions about Celibacy” post. We are not pretending to have any answers, but we are reasonably aware of some of the questions that exist. We want this blog to be a place of positive conversation for all.

We started this blog in an effort to share our experiences as a couple. In no way do we think that this kind of partnership is ideal for all LGBT people or that other LGBT Christians should strive to be like us. We are not interested in engaging in theological debate on the questions, “Does God bless sexually active same-sex relationships?” and “Is same-sex sexual activity sinful?” Our blog is a place for reflection on the lived experiences of celibacy, being an LGBT Christian, spirituality, vocation, and other issues. You may have read elsewhere about the terms “Side A” and “Side B.” That’s not our lingo, that’s not our schtick, and you can find other places on the internet to engage in that great debate. To learn more about why we have chosen not to use this language, see our “How to Talk with Others about A Queer Calling” post.

We chose the title A Queer Calling for our blog because it communicates the reality that our way of life is unusual by most people’s standards. We use “queer” in the traditional sense of the word, meaning “strange” or “odd.” One might also argue that God calls all Christians to a manner of living that many perceive as strange or odd. Additionally, the word “queer” can be an umbrella term for everyone who is a minority in terms of sexual orientation, gender identity, or both. Because of this, we have encouraged other LGBT people to discern their own “queer callings,” whatever they may be. We have no interest in advocating for our specific way of life (celibate partnership) for all LGBT people. Also, we do not use the word “queer” in the activist sense.

If you have other questions, feel free to peruse our Frequently Asked Questions to see if we have addressed a particular issue in other places on our site. For a complete listing of our posts so far, visit our Index page.

So with that said, WELCOME! We value your readership. Feel free to make yourself at home and share your thoughts, perspectives, and questions. While all questions are welcome, we cannot promise that all questions will be answered. We value our privacy and encourage you to think, “Would you really like to ask your parents that question about their intimate life?” If the answer is NOT ON YOUR LIFE, then avoid looking like a jerk in the combox.


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